Cosmic Grin's new location

As Grinner, my task was to give Cosmic Grin a proper grinning face.

Till now, I have not been very satisfied with the image/success of Cosmic Grin. So, I have decided to restart a revamped and overpowered site for Cosmic Grin at CosmicGrin.com.

It will have poetry, philosophy, cosmic comedy, dirty talk, trash talk, put downs, jokes, seriously stupid shit (everything Makdis blogs), and personal intimate information (mostly what Grinner writes). Feel free to suggest categories. I am very very open to ideas. Oh, the new feature that will be added in the new site is going to be categorized blogs. So, you don't have to read all the crap I write all the time. I will also let people suggest me to move a particular blog from a certain category.

Things are still under rigorous construction there. But, I shall have it ready for selective public use shortly. Right now, it is a "hard hat area".

Please visit with extreme caution.

Thank you

-Grinner

Grinner's close encounter with the Grim Reaper

Tonight, I was driving back from San Jose. 4 hours and 40 minutes into the trip, 10 minutes from home, I am crossing Via De La Valle. This guy starts swerving on the road. I saw that and my first instinct was to slowly move away from him. As soon as I thought that, the guy hits the median at 90 mph. He side swipes the median, wakes up and takes a pretty sharp turn right. Subconsciouly, I had sped up a bit, and he misses me by a few feet, but ends up hitting the car to the right of me. This car was the reason I had to speed up instead of moving right.

All cars seemed to regain control SOMEHOW. May be the big G was watching over us. The sleeper pulled over within the next 1/4 of a mile.

Man, at this my heart was going faster than my car. I drove straight home and wrote this blog.

Anyways, on a happier note. If you are ever in San Jose, don't miss asking me where to go. I went on this drive called the 17 Mile Drive. 17 miles of pure heaven. My cousin and Bhabi were with me. I don't think the three of us had fun like this in a long time.

I am changing the time on this post a little bit to allow, Tom Jones' post to be on top.

-Grin at the Reaper

Cycling and Car Racing

I joined a Cycling class. I have been going there for 2 weeks now, twice a week. My butt hurts like I have recently switched my sexuality. I mean, its so bad, I have trouble sitting down.

There are 2 intructors Cheryl (hot), Sara ( not so hot... Too muscular for my liking). There is this girl Aaron. Its a girl. She is the prettiest girl I have seen in San Diego. And God she is friendly too.

Nice. Huh? Who wants to come to california now?

I am planning on buying a bike soon. I found a nice riding spot on the cliff of the pacific ocean. I would like to ride every evening, and watch the sun set. God (if I believed in God) would have to live in those waters.



Today, Tom Jones and I went to the Qualcomm Q Life fest. They had paintball. They had scuba diving. They had Bungee Jumping. And they had bumper car tracks. We went there to scuba dive, but, it was too packed.

So, we went to paintball and bumper cars instead. In the race, I was the last one starting, and first one ending, of course. Can you smell the ego?

-Egotistical Grin

RISK: The game that risks friendships

The quality of the blog had improved slightly, with Tom Jones' entry, so I had decided to let my crap come in slower. You know, to give a budding writer room to bloom. But, enough room.



On Tuesday, 5 of us decided to play Risk at my place. Right off the bat, I got attacked and virtually decimated, before I could have my first move. I lived the life of a cockroach 95% of the time.

Asif, by far is the best negotiator. Unlike in real life, the guy actually keeps his deals in the game. He is a little mad at me because of the game and other things, so, I will keep the wise-guy-jokes to a minimum. All, I have to say is, it is board game; not life. Chillax man. (trade mark- Asif)

So, I made a deal with Asif. He lets me live and I don't come down to South America. Well, what happens in risk is that, if you are complacent to someone, they take you out. Same as life. He was complacent. I almost wiped him out of 15-16 nations, in one blitz. Notice, I said almost. I left 2.

Then, Asif using his superior negotiating techniques, used stupid Tom Jones, to wipe me out. I foolishly thought Tom Jones was my buddy in all of this. With friends like these who needs enemies?

Things got a little sensitive. Guys... If you are reading this. It is just a game. So Chillax, don't climax (Trademark Grinner). We will play another more loving game next time. Have you heard of Taboo? We have to invite Kanta and Maya in for this one.

"Let the Blood Bath begin!"

Asif, I am sorry about kicking your ass in Volley Ball in the picnic Sunday. I had 3 teenie girls and a dopehead-N'SYNC-WANNABE loser on my side. Asif had Adil, and 4-5 other guys. He called it a girl-vs-guy. If guys play so bad, I am proud to be a girl! 15-7... Read and weep.

-Girly Grin

QUALCOMM picnic

Tomorrow is annual QUALCOMM picnic. Looking forward to meeting a lot of people there. I asked 2 (female) friends to join me. Both said "yes". :)

One of them has a freaking boyfriend. The other one, I like as a friend. So, shit out of luck for Grinner. Still... Who knows these things...

-Evil Grin

Roomba Scheduler

This baby cleans your house while you are away.

Thought, a slob like me should invest in this to keep my apartment vacuumed. For those of you who don't know me well, I have been known to be a dirty slob. Anything, shy of eating food off of the dirty carpet, I have done. (Well there was this one time, I believe I have done that too! So Scratch that!!!)

If you are a slob like me, look no further, Roomba Scheduler will schedule your housekeeping around the clock. It would be like a maid has been through your house and cleaned it like it was new. It does everything the maid does, except satisfying Erfan's vulgar urges.

Only $329.00. You don't even need to charge the thing, it charges itself. You just have to give it a bath once a week.

My new yuppy lifestyle requires I tell you about what cool stuff I buy online. I will also compare with your household shit, and tell you why yours sucks compared to mine.

If you want to buy one of these beautifes, just click here.

-Clean Grin

War of Words

People come and go...

Ticker keeps ticking...

No body wants to leave a comment, even when you ask for it...

What is this people? Obviously, you like reading my articles. (And thank you for that.) It is much easier to keep writing, if I get some feed back.

So, please be kind to the Grinner, and leave a comment or two. Or even a blog article or two. Come on people, get in gear.

If you like what I am writing, then you won't have trouble writing about it. If you don't like something, comment on that too, let me know what you don't like. May be the writing style. May be the content. May be the view point is skewed. Let me know. Or may be you are bunch of vouyers, who like to live your lives vicariously through other people, ME. Comment and participate in the orgy of words. Don't just stand and watch. Have courage. Say something.

This girl (no names) told me, I put a lot of guy-jokes in my blogs, so, she feels awkward commenting. But she reads it. Go figure. Now she is probably going to be mad at me. But, I am a guy, may be I don't do girl jokes. If you like girl jokes, come on. Blog it. We will laugh. I promise I won't delete anything, if I think it is too girlie or whatever.

Besides, I never delete other people's comments; I counter them.

Let the War of Words begin.

Iraqi Dinar

How many of you think, buying Iraqi Dinar at this point is a good idea?

Thinking deeply about this. Honest opinions are more than welcome. And let me know if you are buying IQDs. How much would you buy?

That's a 25000 IQD (= 17.0114 USD) bill.

The conversion was taken from
XE.com

- $Grin$

Orthopedic physiotherapy

Ok... So I went through physiotherapy yesterday. I thought my foot was okay until the the therapist started touching my foot in different angles, with different pressures. I swear, these girls, when they studied physiotherapy, they started, because, they had major repressed foot fetishes. Good for her. Her fetish is her profession. But why does she have to molest my foot?

Well, she was kind of young and cute. So, even though she brought out my inner foot pains, I am not going to complain any further. In fact, I think I am going to go back for three more sessions...

Well... After the erotic mollestation of my foot, which did more for her and pain for me, I was back to my crutch-monologue days - almost unable to walk. That sadist fetishist (the physiotherapist) "gently" asks me to stretch it. First she molests it, now she wants me to stretch it? What is this? Am I in a porno flick? My confusion was soon answered. Well, I stretch it. In many directions. Then she "measures" the swelling in my foot. Bends it left, bends it right, mesaures the elasticity of my foot. Pulls on my toe. Hey... At that point, even you would get a hard on - even if you are a chick. Not that I had a hard on. The only thing she didn't do was suck on my toe. Now that would definitely give me a foot on. Get it? Hard on - Foot on.

Stick around; the corny part of this blog is not over yet.

Then, she "slowly" lays me down. Pulls "up" my trousers. In layman's terms it is called rolling up the trousers. Lifts my leg up. Puts "ice" on it. But, wait... She puts some eletrodes on my ankle between the ice and my foot. Then, turns on the machine. I got a feeling... Let me see if I can explain this sensation better. I was about to ask her, if they make such a device for the genitalia, then, all I would have to do was take that home, I wouldn't need to come out of my apartment for days. I would be "Satisfied". It is an orgasmic tingling sensation in the foot. Electric pulses pulsating and vibrating the ankle muscles, rushing all the blood from the body into that general region and pumping the excess fluid out. What a rush. The only thing is that the feeling lasts way longer than an orgasm does. Thus after the first 15 minutes of this imposed tantric foot orgasm, I was almost screaming with pain.

My message of the day... "Kids don't try this without a hot physiotherapist molestor on your side."

-Pained Grin

All moved in and Asif's sad bet

New apartment. New state. New neighbours. Man, my neighbour's girlfriend is hot.

I digress.

I wish the mover's didn't break my futon (which Vicky, pouyan and I hand stained) and my awesome computer table. I gave the other one to Pouyan, that ungrateful bastard!

I hope the mover's will pay me for this. Then I will get a better table and at least one love-sac for the living room.

Love my my new apartment. Gonna get a fooze ball table soon.

By the way, Asif owes me a $100 for losing a bet. Fucker was giving me wrong directions to MY place. And he kept challenging me. I brought in money on the table. First it was $20. Then he doubled it, I tripled it. I quadrupled it. He pentupled (is that a word?) it. His ego was so high, we had to create a new word to describe his ego. Then when it was sadly punctured... He claimed a technicality that was not even there... Aparently, he didn't know where he was, so the bet doesn't count. I even TOLD him where we were, because the whole thing started with me giving him directions to my place from his place.

Hopefully, I will make up the money I lost in Vegas.

-Evil Grin

Moving in today

The place I am moving to is called Esplanade.

It is like Miami out here, you know, the place right up next to the beach? Except the weather here is not lethal.

I got everything I have out of the hotel today. Took me 2 hours! Go figure, I was living there like it was my home.

The movers haven't called yet, I don't mind, the later they are, the more money I make. I can sleep off of the stuff I have with me. All I would need is a sleeping bag and a pillow. Should have stole a pillow from the hotel. Forgot.

The crutches are becoming a handicap. Carrying them around is annoying becuase, they barely fit into my car.

Today is starting out to be a busy day. Not only do I have some code due at work. I am moving out of the hotel and moving into my new apartment. And the movers are due today. And I have to go do the move-in chores with the leasing office.

I am going to have a house warming party next weekend, if my stuff arrive by then. If it does not, all the more reason, I will be filthy rich. Schopenhouer... Schopenhouer... Delay the arrival of my stuff.

Anyways, I digress. You guys are invited to come of course. If you think, 1000s of miles is not an issue.

-Busy Grin

BDSAC

We went to Los Angeles on Saturday night. I was invited to this Bangladeshi Student/Alum group called BDSAC. There were Deshi Kids there, all of my age group. It was a Bhorta Party. It was a pot luck of different kinds of bhorta. There were at least 25 kinds of bhorta there.

The coolest part was when I was talking to the president of the group. I was telling him I come from Georgia Tech, he immediately jumped up and told me that he knows us. He visits BSA@GT website regularly. He uses that as a source for information and ideas.

BSA is bigger than what we think it is. And we are what other people aspire to be.

This is a guy who is arranging a program that will have a budget of $18000, in an auditorium where John Kerry and John Edwards debated. A compliment of this magnitude from a guy like this made me very very proud of BSA.

People at BSA, you have done plenty of good things. It shows in the BSA website. Keep up the good work.

-Grinner

Pickup lines - Nerds

Courtesy Pengi-san and Quailbot

“Looking at you makes my heart go into a kernel panic!”
“Ubuntu means humanity towards others. Why don’t you show a little to me?”
“Ever see a penguin charge at you at speeds in excess of 100 mph?”
“I ran the locate command to find my heart. I believe you have it.”
“I gave you permission to access my heart.”
“I was googling for you.. and I’m feelin’ lucky!”
“Come to my 127.0.0.1 and I’ll give you sudo access”
“Wanna merge? I’ll make it quick”
“You make me NP-hard.”
“You make me NP-complete”

Blur of a week

Credit card bills...
Change of address, even before I move in...
in at least 20 different online accounts, where my address is stored, from my 10 year stay in Atlanta...

It seems I am not moved out of Atlanta yet, she keeps pulling me back to her womb...

One horrible thing that I found out recently, is that Atlas movers, have not moved my stuff from out of Atlanta, YET.

Deep Breath Grinner... Don't lose it. I know I am moving on Tuesday. And I do not even have my computer with me. Geez, freak out time.

Damn, this deep breath stuff really works. I called the movers, and filed a claim. Showing my distress in a cold, calm but "on-edge" tone. If I were on the other end of the phone, I might have peed in my pants. The poor lady upped my delay allowance from $45/per day to $125/per day.

So, now I am hoping that my stuff gets here a lot later. Don't tell them that.

Honeymoon phase is coming to an end. I am going to meet another really old friend of mine from Kuwait. Shaikat. He lives in Pasadena.



Work?


Work is good!
The assignment that I have been given currently is from a group that has been leased my services for 8 weeks, which ends next month. After which I start working on the project that I have been hired to do here. I am not allowed to tell you motherfucking TI spies (yeah that's you Erfan), what I am working on. But, hopefully my work will be used by you guys in 3 years time.

Geez... Talk about a corporate kiss ass.

-Ass Kissed Grin

Confucius Say:

Confucius say,
10. War doesn't determine who is right, war determines who is left
9. It is good to go meet the girl in the Park, it is better to park the meat in the girl
8. Man who fight with wife all day get no piece at night
7. Man who lives in glass house should change clothes in basement
6. Man who fishes in other man's well often catches crabs
5. Man who run in front of car get tired
4.Man standing on toilet is high on pot
3. Passionate kiss like spider's web, soon lead to undoing of fly
2. Virginity like bubble, one prick all gone
1. Man who go to bed with Sex on mind, wake up with "Solution" in hand

Sad day in San Day-go

I went to the orthopedic this morning. He looked at my foot, and gasped!

Judging from him face, I thought he was getting ready to ampute my left foot off. But what he had to say hurt almost as much. No soccer this month. That means the end of the season for me. Asif jinxed me.

Well, I am going to go through physiotherapy for a month. I am allowed to work out though. That, at least is a relief. I was getting tired of sitting with my foot up all the time.

People at work, (Remzi) already started joking with me, "Lift up your LEG!" And apparently, I am always saying in a commanding tone, "Watch my LEG!" It might actually stick at work. :(

Other than that, this $10 copay stuff is very very cool. Love it. I don't think I will get charged for medicine either.

- Grim Grin

The Cosmic Pen

Hold my pen with your soft feminine hands
From its erect stem
Bleed out its divine mystical ink
Onto the beautiful fabric
Of your weaving holy script
The script of our lives'
Combined mystical memories.

- Grinner
June 15, 2005

Contribute

Look on the right.
You see the list that says contributors?
Do you see your userid there? You took the time to sign up with blogger, now write something damnit.
Write anything. Write what ever comes to your little head. If you don't think it's funny, or cool, don't worry, it probably isn't. But, we will find a way to make fun of it. Trust me.

I have genious mice working night and day to come up with jokes. Jokes that will make you look ridiculous. So, don't fear. You will be made fun of, if you just write a post. So post something bitch.

-Nazi Grin

What Happens in Las Vegas......

The Las Vegas trip was off the hook.

The way it all started was,
We were supposed to go to Las Vegas last weekend. But on wednesday, Murat told us that his friend invited him to a farewell party. So Murat being a good friend, couldn't get out of it. Without Murat Las Vegas lost its meaning. Las Vegas plans got cancelled.

On Friday night. We are about to leave work. Remzi and I talked Murat out of going to the party and going to Las Vegas with us. Asif had made plans for the weekend too. Possibly some chick or other involved. Maybe not. Because he joined us without having to have his elbow pulled. Within 2 hours we were on the road on I-15 N on a 6 hour journey to Sin City.

Now. Now. I can not give a full accounting of what went down in LV, because of the sensitive nature of the group's activities. But I will try to tell you some tentalizing information without giving away anything confidential. You know the old saying, "What happens in Las Vegas, Happens in Grinner's Bedroom!"

The gambling was alright. Murat made a few dimes, and Remzi made a lot on the Black Jack tables. I lost $120 in less than 10 minutes. Now I see what's so much fun about losing money for nothing. "I am never gambling again." Famous last words.

The famous Crazy Horse. Awesome. Usually, when I go to a strip club, I lose interest in the first 10 minutes. I spent hours in the club. Wow. Nice. I guess they know what they are doing in LV. Good for them.

We ended the trip with a Variety Show. Every act in the show is filled with comedy. Some of the shows were so funny i started to cry with laughter. It was outrageously funny. At the end of the show they had the showstopper act.

The Thunderdome.

It is a transparent hollow sphere, with bikers riding inside it. They started with one guy showing off his riding skills. I was like, with a little practice, I can do that. Yeah I can.

Then one more guy gets in thru the hole with the first guy still riding in the Dome. He gets going. Then one more comes in. And finally one more. 4 people in a dome which is about 8-9 feet in diameter. They just kept circling the thing in different directions, different waves. Then they turned out all the lights in the stage. The bikers turned on fire and lights on the bikes. The whole dome was a blaze of confused, hysteric fire of explosion. You couldn't tell what is what, who is who, just crazy lights. The whole place smelt of rubber and burnt gasoline. It was an spectacle!

We headed back to San Vegas, i mean San Diego in less than 4 hours time starting at 1AM saturday night. I drove halfway.

-Vegan Grin